The Darkness That Surrounds Me
by NOneemuss
Summary: Victory at the Tree of Souls has come at a great cost for pilot Jack Noakes, as he must come to terms with the death of his sister as the Na'vi close in on the under-strength humans. Contains violence, some swearing.
1. Prologue: Out With a Bang

**Disclaimer: I don't own Avatar, or any canon characters. Rated T for violence and some swearing.**

Date: 22 August, 2154

Location: Above the Tree of Souls

"Hell yeah!" screamed Jack. His gunship had just taken out another banshee rider, with a clean shot straight through the heart.

_Morons, _he thought. _They're going up against gunships with bows and arrows._

"You think they'll retreat?" shouted his twin Lucy over the deafening sounds of the battle. Missiles firing, banshees screaming, Na'vi war cries. The stuff of nightmares.

"Seems likely" Jack answered. "We can't be more than a minute out. Once we've got the bomb in position they'll never dare to attack us again!"

Jack was expecting a reply. He didn't get one. Calling again to his sister, he started to get worried. Being a door gunner was a dangerous job. But still, surely he would have heard her scream...

That chain of thought was interrupted by the words of his sister. Quiet, but still discernible amidst the sounds of the battle. Sounds which had just intensified.

"Oh my God" gasped Lucy.

Location: Aboard the Valkyrie

Sam Turner was angry. Very angry. Yet another of his men had fallen, this time by one of the dreaded poisoned arrows. He'd managed to shoot the Na'vi, but the banshee flew off.

_There's too many, _he thought. _We need to drop the bomb now!_

"Get the bomb out!" he shouted to his fellow soldiers. Though all seasoned soldiers, none of them had ever seen such a fury of nature. "Get the bomb out!" he shouted again. "I'll cover you!"

No sooner had he said those words, than a huge beast slammed into the shuttle. Over twenty metres long, with terrifying red wings, it smashed into the shuttle. Sam gasped in horror as it simply plucked one of his men out of the Valkyrie.

_Sulley, _he thought, as he recognised the creature's Na'vi rider. _Traitorous bitch._

Another arrow landed in the compartment. Another soldier down. Another life that could have been saved if those idiots on the Avatar project had done their jobs instead of starting a war.

_We've lost. We haven't made it. At least we put up a damn good fight._

Then those thoughts were interrupted by the sight of a banshee flying towards them. The Na'vi rider seemed to be armed.

_That's not a Na'vi…_

Location: Skies above the Tree of Souls

Lucy Noakes was scared. Very scared. It could only have been seconds since she had said her final goodbyes to her twin, but it felt like years. _Final goodbyes. _

She knew that there was no going back. If the out-of-control banshee, Na'vi archers and crazy gunfire didn't kill her, then the two grenades in her belt would. She would never again see Earth, her home. But she would save it. Through one crazy, ten-second flight.

At least, that was the plan.

The banshee appeared to be going in the general direction of Jake's Leonopteryx. But the numbers on the grenades were going down fast. Too fast.

_Six. Five. Four._

She didn't agree with everything the RDA had done. But Earth needed to take priority over Pandora. Unobtanium was Earth's only hope.

_Three. Two._

She saw the bomb, the one weapon that could save the Earth. She saw Sully preparing to ram the shuttle.

_Not if I can help it, _she thought with a smile.

_One._

As she crashed into the Leonopteryx, she had time for one final thought.

_I always wanted to go out with a bang._

_Zero._

**Hope you enjoyed it! Please review, point out any spelling or grammar mistakes. I will try to update weekly.**


	2. Chapter 1: Old Anger and New Beginnings

**Disclaimer: I still don't own Avatar.**

Date: 24 August, 2154

Location: Hell's Gate, Graveyard

The Sun was shining brightly, but Jack Noakes felt no warmth. His eyes swept over the hundreds of graves the battle had caused. He walked slowly towards one of them. 'Lucy Noakes 2131-2154'.

_Not very descriptive, _he thought. He tried a smile, a dry laugh. Instead, he started crying. They poured down his face, like a leaky tap. He tried desperately to stop, but he kept on imaging Lucy. Their first day of school. Her smile, a beacon of hope in the acrid smoke of industry. The day of their flight to Pandora. Their almost identical smiles. A new hope, a new life, a new world.

Jack managed a laugh. A dry laugh, more of hurt than of happiness. _A new world. _That was why he had signed up. Why everyone had signed up, wasn't it? They might have _said _that they wanted to save the world, study interesting species or engineer peace with the Na'vi, or whatever shit they'd come up with now, but it was all about escape. Escape from the polluted, crowded mess they called Earth. _Terra nova. New world_. The motto of the RDA's Pandoran Operations. He'd agreed with it once. Even a week ago he'd believed it. But now… now it wasn't a new world. Without Lucy?

Without Lucy there was no world at all.

Location: Samson Crash Site, Pandoran Jungle

Norm Spellman stepped up to the twisted, burnt wreckage of Trudy's Samson. So many of the Na'vi, and humans, come to that, were desperately worried about their loved ones. Not Norm, on the other hand. His parents had died years ago, caught up in a brutal resource war. That was why he'd left for Pandora. He had no siblings. No one to share his life with. Except Trudy. And now even that hope was gone.

_I had the courage to charge an entire AMP suit platoon, but not the courage to ask her out. Funny, that._

That was the only thing funny about it. It wasn't funny that hundreds of humans and thousands of Na'vi had died, that there was a bomb at the Tree of Souls, that Trudy was dead. _Trudy was dead._

The realisation hit him again. He felt scared. He was alone. Alone. _Alone._

He wanted to fight in her memory, but there was nothing left to fight for. There was a bomb at the Tree of Souls. As soon as the humans detonated it, Eywa would die and the Na'vi would be destroyed. Why? So some morons five light years away could travel with their electric trains and heat up their homes with some stupid grey rock.

His hope, his _only _hope, the Na'vi's only hope, was that the humans would choose not to detonate the bomb. But what were the chances of that? At that moment, he was reminded of a line from an old, 21st-century novel.

_The odds are never in our favour._

Location: Hell's Gate, Operations Centre

"Just blow the bloody tree sky-high!" yelled Quaritch, his voice dwarfing all others in the Ops Centre. "We lost a lot of men, a lot of good men. This isn't Kansas, this is Pandora. Do you think the Na'vi will appreciate the decision to not blow up their goddess? Of course not! They'll attack!

"Our forces are not as powerful as they were. The next reinforcement flight is in eight months. Eight months! Do you honestly believe we can hold this base with _six_ choppers and _one_ AMP suit platoon? We'd be lucky to last eight minutes! Their goddamn goddess killed half of our forces! And now, do we show her leniency? Do we let her live? Do we leave ourselves open to attack? Do we sacrifice the lives of everyone on Earth for _one bloody tree_? Do you think the Na'vi will appreciate this? Will they make peace with the people who killed half their warriors?"

Then a door slammed opened. All eyes turned to the figure, with cold eyes and a face like ice.

"Yes".


	3. Chapter 2: Preparing for War

**Nope, still don't own Avatar.**

Location: Ops Centre, Hell's Gate

"Yes," said Jack. He paused, and took a deep breath. "Yes."

"I appreciate that this has its dangers. But I thi-"

"Like the extinction of the human race!" interjected Quaritch, in a fury so angry it was almost comical.

"No. No. No. You want war. That's all you want, you adrenaline-fuelled psychopath!" yelled Jack. Tears were streaming down his face.

"You of all people to call me a psychopath!"

"Shut up you tree-hugging loony!" shouted Parker in anger. "Security!"

Immediately, two large guards ran towards Jack. They looked the business, with the approximate sizes, shapes and mental capacities of very large rocks. As they dragged Jack away, he turned and screamed, crying.

"When this is over, what will be left of the Na'vi?"

"What does it matter if there's nothing left at all?" answered Quaritch, drawing his Wasp revolver.

"Put that down!" cried Ally Dawson, running towards him. "War isn't the answer to everything you know!"

The guards had dragged Jack to the door. He snatched onto the door handle and held onto it as if it were the last lifeline for a whole species. _Which it is! _he thought, thinking of the Na'vi and the Tree of Souls.

"If we listen to you, our legacy will be of death and destruction!"

"If we listen to _you_, our legacy will be nothing but a memory, you crazy bastard!" screamed Quaritch. "Do I need to spell it out to you? We have _one _Dragon gunship, _four _Scorpion gunships, _two _Samson choppers, _one _Valkyrie and a _single _AMP platoon! Those savages out there have _ten thousand bloody troops, _plus aerial troops, mounted troops and their son of a bitch goddess!"

"For God's sake, he saw his twin sister blow herself up, give him a break!" cried Ally frantically.

Jack swung a wild punch. He felt the barbs of the Taser enter his skin and a buzzing sound.

"So it is unanimous. Detonate at once," said Parker.

Then the world went black.

Location: Pilot's Quarters

Time: A few hours later

Jack awoke from his nightmare. Explosions, choppers and Na'vi warriors. And Lucy. It always went back to Lucy. _No! She can't be dead. She just can't…_

He lay in bed for a few minutes. He didn't want to sleep, eat, think, fly, live. _Live. _That thought stopped him in his tracks. _Did Lucy die so that I would? _He got up and started to walk to the Ops Centre. He made it to the end of the corridor before bursting into tears.

Suddenly, someone ran up to Jack. He recognised him vaguely. Lewis Scott, an adrenaline-junkie AMP pilot.

"Hurry the hell up! Quaritch wants all the choppers on the plant clearing operation NOW! Get moving!" he shouted loudly, though enthusiastically.

Jack was exhausted, and it took him a few seconds to understand. Then he gasped with realisation.

"What?" he asked, shocked. "Didn't they blow the bomb? Did they-" he almost didn't dare to say it"-listen to me?"

Scott sighed contemptuously, then remembered. "Sorry, forgot you were out for a few hours. Of course they blew up the bomb. This is _Quaritch _we're talking about. The bomb was faulty. It didn't kill Eywa, just piss her off! The Na'vi are preparing for war, so they're clearing the area around the base. Some _fight them on our ground, with our rules _shit. Anyway, must dash, see, you there!"

Jack paused for a moment. He walked confidently to the door, but as soon as he was sure Lewis was out of view he wept. _Lucy died in vain? No! No! No!_

Location: Aboard the Dragon

"Samsons One and Two, fire your missiles! Scorpion One, escort Slash Cutters! I'll bomb the starting zone, then the 'dozers can move in. AMPs One through Four, monitor the area. Shoot first and ask questions later. Valkyrie, spray the area! We've got enough pesticides to kill a lot of their precious trees!"

The co-pilot interrupted Quaritch's loud rant. "Won't that anger their goddess?" he asked timidly.

Quaritch smiled the kind of smile you'd cross the street to avoid. "Precisely," he said. He then accessed the missile control systems expertly and armed the missiles. As they streaked towards the forest he smiled his contented smile.

"Fight fire with fire," he muttered.

Location: On the ground

Flamethrowers burned through the undergrowth, scattering any wildlife foolish enough to remain. Overhead, helicopters protected the convoys, occasionally firing missiles at trees or dangerous wildlife, and a Valkyrie, protected by two dozen SecOps soldiers sprayed heavy-duty pesticides over the tall, towering trees. Below, AMPs protected the huge bulldozers that were smashing through the forest, demolishing everything in their path. It was enough to make a strong man retch, but Lewis Scott was loving every minute.

"Anything from the satellites?" he asked on the comms channel as he slashed through the foliage with his powerful Suit Knife.

"No. All the animals seem to be fleeing. If they're out there then they're either too small to be a threat or hiding remarkably well."

Lewis sighed. The woman on the other side of the call, Ally Dawson, clearly heard it as she laughed out loud.

"Looking for some action, were you, Scottie?" she asked, smiling.

"Sir no sir!" shouted Lewis in a bad imitation of Quaritch's voice. He was struggling, and failing, to keep a straight face.

"Looking for some action? Then come round to my room tonight and see what you'll get!" said Ally tantalisingly.

"And what will I get?" asked Lewis cheekily, smiling from ear to ear.

"A slap in the face, you _dirty _little boy! And I don't care if you're wearing that bloody AMP suit!" laughed Ally loudly.

Lewis realised he'd been too wrapped up in his conversation with Ally to concentrate on his job, so he looked up. Just in time to see a massive, ferocious thanator leap up onto his AMP suit, roaring.

**This was a very long chapter for me. Nearly 1000 words! Hope you liked the new characters (Lewis and Ally) and the cliffhanger. Please tell me what you think by leaving a review below. If reviews were my food, I'd be starving to death! Thanks for reading. Updates every Monday.**


	4. Chapter 3: It Always has to Be Death

**In case you haven't already noticed, I don't own Avatar.**

Location: Pandoran Jungle, Outside Hell's Gate

Lewis Scott gasped as his entire AMP suit rocked backwards. The metal was damaged and the glass was peppered with spiderweb cracks. He opened fire on the thanator, but it barely reacted. _Is this it? Is this how it's going to end? _he thought.

The sounds of gunfire were increasing as several infantry soldiers opened fire on the six-legged beast. It received them like gentle taps. Lewis was terrified, as the thanator prepared itself for another attack.

"Hold your position! We're sending you a Scorpion _now_!" cried an obviously panicked voice on the radio. Lewis barely heard it, concentrating instead on his racing heartbeat and heavy breathing.

He fired again, catching the creature directly in the head. Activating his knife, he stabbed it twice in the soft underbelly. It cried in pain but kept going. The glass shattered, but adrenaline made Lewis ignore the dozen cuts he received. He fired desperately, making the thanator fall. It got up quickly. Lewis knew he had to act fast.

With all his strength, he brought the suit's foot down on the thanator. As the AMP rocked, but held its ground, he muttered a silent thank you to the inventor of the stability chip and stabbed the beast. Quickly, he aimed his gun, ready to deliver the killer shot.

"_Ammunition is empty_," announced the computerised voice.

Gritting his teeth, Lewis took the AMP's foot off the thanator. It reacted instantly, preparing to leap. Lewis desperately held up his gun and brought it down with all his strength on the thanator. He moved the suit forwards, trapping the beast between him and the tree. He held up the gun.

The thanator gasped as Lewis pushed the gun forwards. Dark purple blood splashed all over the tree as the thanator screamed its terrifying final scream. Lewis stabbed it one final time, then jumped out of the suit, gasping.

Location: Site 26, Hallelujah Mountains

Jake Sully slowly wheeled his wheelchair to the edge of the cliff. He needed some time alone.

_I'll never walk again. I lost my Avatar. I am no longer a Na'vi. But I fought the humans. I fought a war that no one thought was fightable. I am no longer a human. I'm not a Marine. Not Toruk'makto. I'm no one at all._

He looked at the beautiful view. Banshees flew swiftly amongst the greenery, the wind blew slowly, rustling the plants.

He had fought for that beauty, that life, that perfection. He had lost. Now there would be another battle. No one would win. The humans would leave, but the Na'vi would lose thousands. Eywa would be harmed and the Earth would descend into chaos.

_I became my enemy, fighting it._

The Na'vi had mourned the loss of Toruk'makto. Jake had mourned the loss of… of Jake Sully.

For who was he now? Hated by Quaritch, Parker and most of the other gun-toting morons. Trudy and Grace were dead. Even Neytiri didn't want him in the clan. He was no one at all.

War. War. Always war. He had seen enough war on Earth to last a lifetime. Then Pandora. Seeing Tsu'tey die, his _toruk _slain, Trudy's Samson crash. He hated the humans.

And yet (and there always was a yet) he felt some loyalty to the humans. Earth was dying. Unobtanium could save it. Could he really argue against that? Could he destroy his species?

_You're a traitor. A traitor to your own species._

Suddenly, Norm's voice interrupted his thoughts.

"Mate, you need to calm down. You were sounding like Quaritch."

Jake sat up straight. He realised that he had been talking out loud.

"I scouted out Hell's Gate a few hours ago," said Norm. Jake could tell it was bad news by the tone of his voice. "They're going all out. They've got the Valkyrie spraying pesticides everywhere. The Dragon was bombing the forest and they had bulldozers and AMPs and God knows what. They're really going all out. They'll do _anything _to win."

Jake turned to face Norm and paused. A very long pause. "Mines. They'll blow up hundreds of the Na'vi before they even reach the fence. Technology always seems cool, but it always ends up hurting people. The choppers killed people. Guns killed people. My Avatar killed people. Death. It always has to end in death."

He breathed heavily, then continued. "They're desperate. They'll use everything. Mines. Bombs. Fire. They'll gas them, I bet. You know how many that'll kill? How much pointless death? We'll do anything to survive."

Norm remembered something. "_We_?"

Jake looked down at his human body. After what seemed like an hour, he replied.

"Yes. _We_."

Location: Hell's Gate, Infirmary

Jack slowly opened his eyes as the world seemed to tilt beneath him. Bright lights stung his eyes.

"Wh-? Where am I?" he asked slowly.

"You're in the infirmary," said a gentle female voice. "You attacked two guards, trying to get to Quaritch. He…" she paused. "He wants to see you alone."

"I'll kill the bastard!" he shouted suddenly, startling everyone in the room. "He killed my sister! Lucy! She's dead because of that psycho!"

Quaritch walked towards the bed, deliberately maintaining an air of nonchalance. He was armed, Jack noticed. The doctors and nurses all, as if on cue, quickly left the immediate area.

"Listen up. You _should _be punished. You broke a guard's nose, and I understand that he's _very _keen to speak to you." He was speaking calmly, as if the entire situation was completely unimportant for him.

"But you're twin is dead. You saw her blow herself up. So I'll let you off. Now. Now _only_."

Suddenly, he moved in closer- to within twenty centimetres of Jack.

"I expect absolute obedience from you, now. You might think that the walls are closing in on you, that there is a darkness surrounding you. But Lucy wasn't stupid, and neither are you. There are risks on Pandora. Both of you knew that."

"Everyone deals with grief. Suddenly, he moved in closer- to within twenty centimetres of Jack.

"I expect absolute obedience from you, now. You might think that the walls are closing in on you, that there is a darkness surrounding you. But Lucy wasn't stupid, and neither are you. There are risks on Pandora. Both of you knew that."

"Everyone deals with grief. You _may _need to do it a bit faster than others, because of the ten-thousand-strong horde out there. And you will."

All Jack wanted to do was sleep, but then an idea came into his head.

"Sir, how do you know everyone deals with grief?"

Quaritch turned around. "Because I did."

**Longer chapter today! Sorry for the late update, I was very busy on Monday. Unfortunately this story is postponed until January, because I'm going on holiday. Don't stop reviewing!**


	5. Chapter 4: Lies, Damned Lies and

**If I owned Avatar, I wouldn't be writing this.**

Date: 25 August, 2154

Location: Parker's Office, Hell's Gate

"So the plan is to fight three thousand banshees with _six _choppers? Don't you remember what happened last time, you moron? We had helicopters falling out of the sky! Banshees flying into rotors! We must have lost half our air force before a single banshee was shot down!"

"Now listen here, Parker!" interrupted Quaritch furiously. "_We? We! _If my memory serves me well, you stayed at base and watched it all like a nice little holo-movie. I fought. I fought to save the Earth.

"Those were my men and women who died in that battle. I don't see them as statistics, I see them as people who deserve to be remembered!"

Parker stood up. As he walked out of the office, he stopped and turned around.

"They pay me to look at statistics. I can make the plans for the bat-"

"What, like count the number of arrows that land in your chest?"

Struggling to remain calm, Parker responded.

"Statistics are important."

"There are lies, damned lies and statistics."

Angrier than ever, something seemed to create a new-found confidence in Parker. All of a sudden, he loudly shouted at Quaritch.

"You of all people to say that! Forget about the first two and tell everyone on this base the truth. Otherwise, you, and all your _loyal little soldiers_, will end up as one of my statistics."

Quaritch didn't answer, just walking wordlessly out of the room.

Location: Corridor, Hell's Gate

Ally Dawson was furious. She had overheard part of Quaritch and Parker's conversation, and now she had an argument to conduct. Hearing footsteps behind her, she quickly turned round, only to be met by the emotionless gaze of Parker Selfridge.

"Now listen here, you evil bastard! The Na'vi are a beautiful species. They're more than a statistic, you know!"

Parker didn't respond. Instead, he pulled open a door.

"Come in," he said, completely without emotion.

Ally did so, reading the sign on the door. _Briefing Room 2b_, it said.

Parker turned on the holo-vision, then gestured for Ally to come closer. She did so.

"You know how many Na'vi there are?" asked Parker. Then, without waiting for a response, he answered. "Our thermal scans suggest a figure in the region of two hundred thousand." The holo-vision started to display that number.

"Now, think about us. The humans. Twenty billion of us, all crowded into that hellhole we call Earth." Both numbers were now displayed on the holo-vision. "Now, Dawson, do you see? Why we have to fight the Na'vi?"

"There are a hundred thousand humans for every Na'vi. If we don't fight the ten thousand or so closing in on us, we could lose everyone on Earth. And for what? A tenth of a human?"

Ally nodded. She started to leave the room, but Parker stopped her.

"Wait. There's more. Take ten thousand. Put it on the holo. Draw a line over it. And put a one on top of that."

"One ten-thousandth?" asked Ally curiously.

"Yes. That's our chance of winning this battle. But we're still fighting."

"Seems like a hell of a big risk."

"Of course," replied Parker. "It's a big gamble. But, as they say, it's the only game in town."

"Yeah, and then you, and everyone else is going to die and no one will give a shit 'cause it's _just a statistic_."

Ally left the room. As she walked down the corridor, she thought of Parker and smiled. A sincere smile.

Location: Tree of Souls, Pandora

Norm walked gingerly through the huge crowds of Na'vi warriors. Many had their _ikran _with them, ready to attack from the air. Others were busy sharpening their knives, or practising sparring with others.

Norm now realised the true extent of human influence on Pandora. One small human settlement amidst hundreds of miles of Na'vi jungle.

Many of the Na'vi were angry at him for coming here. Even though he had made a suicidal charge against the humans, even though he had sacrificed his Avatar for them, even though he had risked everything to save a tree.

He soon spotted Neytiri, one of the few Na'vi he actually liked.

"Norm!" she called. "Where is Jake?"

"He's not feeling very well," replied Norm.

This was a blatant lie. Jake had refused to go, on the grounds that the Na'vi refused to respect him for who he really was.

"I need to talk to you, Norm Spellman," said Neytiri in accented English. "I know what the Sky People can do. I lost Seze to one of their- one of your- kunsips. I saw entire clans slaughtered by your weapons. But they do not see it that way. And someone is encouraging that."

"Eywa," gasped Norm.

"Yes. You are right. I sacrificed my _ikran_, my mate and many of my kin for Eywa. I fail to see how she thinks I have not sacrificed enough for her."

Norm said nothing. He simply pulled out a tablet. Neytiri stared at it, transfixed.

_Hell's Gate- Defences_, the heading read.

**Sorry for the shorter chapter, I've been quite busy. Keep on reading!**

** EDIT: I edited the ending of the second part because I changed my plan for later in the story. Hope you like it!**


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